What does it look like to live in discipleship to Jesus alongside one another? 

It’s easy to attach Christian jargon to this subject. Like trying to improve our Bible reading plans, we can buy a book that convicts us about doing a better job at ‘discipleship’, get inspired about our discoveries, but ultimately be changed very little. This can be discouraging. Yet, in severe contrast to this approach, when the Son of God declared that he has all authority and calls us to ‘make disciples’ in the entire world (Matthew 28:19), he calls us into a way of life. Today, I’ll focus on just one of the particular places in which discipleship to King Jesus kicks against the self-absorbed culture that we swim in.

The words of Paul in Romans 1 come as just one of a thousand starting places we could take. As you go forward, consider how the words of God land on your heart (i.e. how it is heard, where this rings true, what it challenges, what comes to mind).

“For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you - that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine” (Romans 1:12). 

These can be verses that we sometimes skip over, maybe we think it isn’t relevant because it doesn’t seem to offer personal instruction. It doesn’t seem like the meaty theology that we’re looking for. On the contrary, it says a lot about both Paul and ourselves.

Our relationships are never neutral: our hearts are either growing deeper roots for either good fruit or bad fruit. They communicate something about the orientation of the longings of our heart. How we function in relationships either communicates a life that looks toward God or one that looks away from him. For Paul, he longs for mutual encouragement of each other’s faith. Ask yourself, what longings do you walk around with when you are at a parish dinner? Or when you grab a drink with a close Christian friend? 

Consider whether you could be longing for relationships in any ways that are counter to what God intends:

• I long to be comfortable, by spending time around those that agree with me on politics, theology, parenting, etc.

• I long for others to approve of me.

• I long for things to go well. Maybe if I spend time with God’s people, he’ll give me what I hope for. 

• I long to feel like I’m doing the right thing.

• I long to experience a spiritual or emotional ‘high’.

Alternatively, for those of us introverts:

• I long to keep people out of what’s really going on for me.

• I might long for relationships with others at some point, when I really need Jesus to show up for me.

Most, if not all of these can be a good means to a rich life but, so often, we turn these means into the end.

“So, that’s that. Let’s just do it differently.”

Actually, before we jump to thinking we can just will ourselves into doing this differently, we need to understand where the chutzpah comes from. Paul identifies himself as a slave of Christ in the opening of the letter (Romans 1:1). Paul’s way of viewing his interpersonal relationships are informed by his master. Later on, he reminds us that we are all slaves: either to God or to our flesh (Romans 6:16, see also Matt 6:24). For whichever longings in the list above struck you, what do those longings communicate about the character of your master? Are you a ‘slave of Christ’ in your relationships? 

What is so striking about Paul’s longing in Romans 1:12 is that he is really clear on the end game. When he leaves Rome, he hopes that the way he would reminisce is in how Jim, Tom, and Sally’s faith magnifies his master. Meaning, the food at the dinner parties really was remarkable…and his even greater hope was to hear of how God’s gospel is seen through the lives of these brothers and sisters and vice versa.

For Paul, discipleship isn’t a fuzzy phrase that’s detached from real relationships. When he says ‘you’, he refers to real people who have a real faith in this real world. He longs to be encouraged, including the person who has really long-winded conversations. Including the weird uncle. Including the person with whom we might naturally have beef.

What would it take for us to believe that encouragement of one another’s faith is a worthwhile way to spend our time? 

How could it reorder our conversations today? 

How could it change our prayer life?

Compare Paul’s relational desires with your own this week:

On your way to your parish dinner or a coffee with someone in our church, look in your own heart to see what you hope for in time together. How might God be sanctifying you?

During these times, what would it look like to be vulnerable about your own faith? What would seeking encouragement from them look like? Take the risk! Connect your faith with small talk. Ask them how they may be growing from the faith of others in the parish. Pray together.

On the ride home, ponder about where you saw God working. Could you have said more to encourage others? Where does it feel awkward? Feeling awkward doesn’t signify that it’s wrong. Learn to discern your unused muscles versus what is just plain weird. Begin again tomorrow.

I pray that God would make our longings one and the same with His. We look ahead to the day when all of our longings will come face to face with the one that they were made for (1 Cor 13:12).